It’s been a year…

…both literally and, well, yeah. It’s been a lot.

Remember that new, shiny idea I wanted to work on for Camp Nano? Well, I did. I worked on it all the way through April, and then kept plotting it and polishing it ready to write my first draft in November, for NaNoWriMo.

Which, I did. Kind of.

My writing style has always been to plot the entire novel in advance, writing skeleton drafts of scenes that I then go in and flesh out in draft 1. It’s how I wrote Evanesce and the Langford Conspiracy.

It did NOT work for this new idea.

When I sat down to write a scene, I was bored. I’d essentially already written it with how detailed my plan was, and drafting felt like painting by numbers. I wasn’t feeling the creativity, and in spite of how meticulously I’d planned my plot, it was full of holes. It dragged.

It felt like I’d wasted almost a whole year.

So, I looked back to Tithe—the novel I plotted and drafted concurrently in a month. Because I’d run out of time before NaNo22, I ended up plotting my scenes directly before I wrote them. I had a strong sense of the overall plot, yes, but I’d allowed myself to be spontaneous, to enjoy what I was writing.

I realised that was what I needed to do again. Or at least, that’s what I think I need to do…I haven’t actually written a draft since I hit pause on Pale Eyes WIP (the shiny idea). But I have been hard at work.

Tithe has been edited (again!) and I’m actually in the middle of more edits for it, though I’m taking a break because I’ve reached a point where I’m sick of reading it…but I’m so close to having it where I want it to be, so I think this weekend I’ll just suck it up and make myself finish it. Once I actually get editing again I’ll be back in the flow, it’s just the no-editing, read-it-as-if-you’re-a-reader bit that I’m not feeling at the moment.

And, I have another WIP that I’ve started (you see my problem)…a teen horror novel inspired by R.L. Stine and Kathryn Foxfield, which I’ve written the first ~8 chapters for and am now editing before I move onto the next part…which I still need to figure out. And yes, I know that the sensible thing to do is devote all my energy to Tithe, since that’s the one that’s nearest completion, but…I struggle with having SO MUCH that I want to write, and only so many hours in the day (usually after work, when my brain has turned to jelly) to write in.

So, I think I need to get better at managing my time. If I can allot myself time to work on each of my WIPs, maybe I won’t feel that all-encompassing panic of oh god I need to write this AND this AND THIS and will actually…you know…write some of it.

Here’s hoping!

And, since it’s been such a long time since I’ve posted here, I have quite a few books that I’ve read to catch up on! Some of them I read almost a year ago, so forgive me if I don’t remember too much about them. So, without further ado…

What I read in 2023

Tag, You’re Dead by Kathryn Foxfield. I always love Kathryn’s horror novels and thrillers because she writes fun, twisty stories about teens who feel like real teens, not adults masquerading as teens. I think I read this in April 23, so quite a while ago now, but the characters from this book stand out to me even now. The multi POV explores different viewpoints from teens who occupy different spaces and face different issues, and the story peels back the façade of online content creators to explore how this affects teens. Bitey Charlotte remains one of the most memorable characters I’ve ever read.

Next up was Midnight Sun by Stephenie Meyer. …yes. Look, I’m a Twilight stan, and no, not for the reasons that Meyer would want me to be. Twilight fascinates me. The film is a straight-up comedy as far as I’m concerned. And Midnight Sun brought that humour…in places. Reading Edward’s POV was hilarious and this is one of the few books that has made me laugh out loud. The scene where Bella walks out into the rain and Edward dramatically thinks, “Bella…isn’’t wearing any makeup!” is comedy gold. However…there are also parts that drag. And when they drag, they DRAG. I do like how Meyer characterises Edward as a vampire and reflects this in his thought processes, but when he tries to distract himself from Bella’s scent by creating a composition in his head—and we go through the journey of creating that composition with him—it’s too much. Is this book objectively good? I would argue no. But did it bring me joy and laughter at a time when I needed it? Absolutely.

(And no, I don’t like any of the Twilight books other than Twilight and Midnight Sun. Jacob’s character assassination was too much for me and the love triangle was not one that I enjoyed).

After that, I read Monstersona by Chloe Spencer. This is a book about a town that is destroyed by a freak event and the teen girl who escapes the carnage with only her dog and a classmate who turns out to have bullied her. For this reason alone, I could not get on board with the romance, which is central to the plot. I liked the concept of the story, but I didn’t like the characters, and I felt that the “hey, you bullied me” aspect was swept under the rug too easily. I’ve beta-read a novel before where what appeared to be a bully romance was handled very deftly, so I couldn’t help but compare this to that. Overall, not my cup of tea, but your mileage may vary.

My next read was Godkiller by Hannah Kaner, and this was a completely different reading experience. Set in a fantasy world where gods are spawned by believers, and gods that grew too powerful destroyed civilisations, we follow four POV characters as they are brought together on a quest to the ruined city where gods still lurk. I enjoyed two of the POVs more than the others; the godkiller herself and the knight felt slightly generic to me, whereas the young noble girl and the tiny god of lies who is bound to her felt refreshingly new, and their dynamic was compelling. I’m not sure if I was so into this that I’ll read the sequel that is now out, but…who knows? Watch this space.

After Godkiller was a non-fiction book, one of two memoirs that I read last year. This was Pageboy by Elliot Page. As a story, it was compelling, and as a transmasc person it was good to see one of our stories being told in such a high-profile way. However, I found the way Page jumped back and forth across the years to be a bit confusing, especially with the final chapter, and didn’t find that the chapters always flowed into one another. I also found his writing style to be a little clunky, though a friend of mine who listened to the audiobook said it was fantastic, so maybe that was the better way to read it. All in all, it’s a story that I’m glad was told, I just wasn’t convinced by the telling.

I returned to fiction with Yellowface by R.F. Kuang and had a FANTASTIC time. I think this is definitely one that is appreciated more by writers, because we all know that querying is hard, publishing is hard, and seeing the jaws of publishing close around a fictional someone that isn’t yourself is honestly quite satisfying? Seeing the interplay of race and privilege play out on page was thought-provoking, though after watching Cindy’s video on the book, I think I agree that the privilege part was underdeveloped. Still, this was a really enjoyable, insightful read that’s perfect for anyone who loves a bit of drama.

After this came The Sunbearer Trials by Aiden Thomas, which I adored. I love all of his writing, and how he unflinchingly centres transmasc characters. All of the characters in this book are so lovable, the different facets of culture that Thomas weaves into the story have depth and build a world that feels so real and lived-in, and the trials themselves were exciting to read. I’m really looking forward to the sequel and can’t wait to see how it all pans out!

My next read was Suffer The Darkness by Yolanda Stetsos. Short, easy to read, but I personally didn’t find it scary (it’s a horror story) and was distracted by how heavily influenced by Stranger Things it clearly was. It did maintain a creepy atmosphere throughout, however, and I liked half of the twist at the ending.

My second memoir followed this: I’m Glad My Mom Died by Jeanette McCurdy. There’s nothing I can really say about this that hasn’t already been said, other than that it’s fantastic. We find out in an earlyish chapter that McCurdy wanted to be a writer for film and TV before her mother told her that writers are fat and ugly and actresses are skinny and beautiful, so she’d better remain an actress, and her natural knack for writing shines through. This gave me what I was missing from Pageboy, and McCurdy’s unflinching writing retains a clear sense of purpose throughout.

I returned to Kathryn Foxfield’s writing with Getting Away With Murder, which was another delightful dive into the messy lives of teens and the various pressures and traumas that drive one of them to murder…but which one? The setting was immersive, the characters well-developed as always, and the trials they went through were imaginative and grounded in the kind of thing teens love: FNAF, Poppy Playtime…all those creepy, abandoned places that fuel nightmares, distilled into this book. The way that Foxfield captures the Zeitgeist will never not inspire me.

What followed this was my first ever Chuck Tingle book: Camp Damascus. I LOVED this book. All I knew going into it was that it was a conversion therapy camp story, and that I had read Surrender Your Sons by Adam Sass previously, which was also about a similar setting. I’ve seen people say that they didn’t like some of the choices made in Camp Damascus, but I liked it precisely for those choices and how it differentiated itself from other conversion camp stories. I agree that it reads more like YA than Adult, but then you could argue that this is a result of the MC, Rose, being infantilised by her conservative Christian family. The autism and queer rep was fantastic, as was the diversity in the ways that the characters escaping fundamentalist communities and belief systems dealt with this. Tingle wrote a compelling story with his usual humour and I can’t wait to read his next book, Bury Your Gays.

I kept up my horror streak by next reading Infested by Angel Luis Colón, another story that is clearly for teens, which I appreciated. Colón steadily builds up the creepiness whilst exploring gentrification and sending the MC, Manny, on a real learning curve. The visceral grossness of what unfolds, that builds to a near-demonic crescendo, is fantastic, and I love how this book handled themes of anger and responsibility. Like I said above, this was clearly for teens, not just about them, and Colón captured the hunger for independence perfectly. It takes skill to show a character’s flaws when you’re writing from that character’s point of view and they themselves are unaware of them, and Colón clearly has that skill in bucketloads.

After this was another horror novel, this time another self-pubbed one by S. Jean called The Devil in the Woods. I LOVED this. It took me a minute to get used to the writing style, which wasn’t my usual fare, but I quickly moved past that. The characters are so instantly likeable and so distinct, and Jean’s use of their own artwork throughout really elevated the reading experience. There are text message exchanges between the main characters, with little chibi heads next to them to show who’s texting, and it just made it so much more enjoyable to read. S. Jean does all their own art, own covers, own formatting, and their hard work pays off. I seriously recommend this book and anything else that they write!

And it was yet another horror that I read after this…can you tell that the latter part of 2023 is when I decided that I wanted to lean into writing horror? I wanted to be inspired by excellent teen horror books, and this next one didn’t disappoint. Your Lonely Nights Are Over is a teen slasher by Adam Sass, centring two gay boys whose lives are torn apart when a once-forgotten serial killer resurfaces in the wake of a true crime documentary. Dearie and Cole are SO sassy, SO likeable, and the care that’s taken with Cole’s story as a boy of colour and how he faces police suspicion compared to Dearie is evident. I think the pacing could have maybe been a bit tighter, but maybe that’s just because I’m comparing it to the breakneck speed of Surrender Your Sons. If you like slasher movies, this is the book for you.

I took a break from horror to dive into Middle-Grade novel Witchlings 2: The Golden Frog Games by Claribel A. Ortega. I can’t remember if I’ve written about Witchlings before, but in short: it’s phenomenal. Warm-hearted, funny, imaginative, with lovable characters and a unique spin on magic: if you know a kid who loves magical stories, give them Witchlings. The same goes for Witchlings 2, continuing the story of Seven, Thorn and Valley. I loved the exploration of gentrification in a way that kids can understand, and the continuation of the Spare storyline from Book 1. This book is full of twists and turns, it expands on the world established in book 1, and the humour does not miss. (“This is a level 7 spell!” “Only a level 7 nerd would know that!” killed me. I have NEVER laughed at anything so hard in a book!) My only criticism for this book is that there are a lot of new characters, and the naming convention for these characters made them at times hard to follow. There was a moment where a particular character came under suspicion and I thought …who? and had to go back and try and find the last time that they were mentioned. This was only a minor complaint, however, and I can’t wait for Witchlings 3!

Another sweet and easy read came next, with Heartstopper Volume 5. I read this after the latest season of the TV show came out, and wasn’t expecting the Mr. Farrouk/Mr. Ajeyi storyline to be in the comic (idk why, I just assumed it was added to the TV show). The bonus content at the end featuring those two was a particular treat…as a queer adult, I like seeing queer adult joy! I think the next volume of Heartstopper is the last, and can’t wait to see how it concludes.

(Unless I’m mistaken and there’s more to follow lmao)

What came next were two more horror novels…starting with my first foray into the work of Clive Barker. Yes, I read The Hellbound Heart. (No, I haven’t seen Hellraiser…look, I am a baby when it comes to horror movies. I grew up reading James Herbert and plenty of other scary books, but my love for horror extends only to the written word. I longingly read plot summaries of horror movies, but know that if I actually try watching them, I won’t sleep for a week!) I really enjoyed this book, it was so gutsy and gross, and the mythology Barker created that underpins it is really cool. It encapsulates what I like so much about horror: when a writer asks themself a question (what if we took pleasure to the extreme?) and what follows is their answer. Not too long and I couldn’t put it down. Tremendous, and I shall eagerly explore the rest of Barker’s work.

(Also, if you wanted to play a drinking game and take a shot every time Barker writes the word ‘bowel’…good luck to your liver!)

FINALLY, I finished 2023 with Kalynn Bayron’s You’re Not Supposed To Die Tonight. A fantastic end to the year, with another teen slasher that wasn’t afraid to get gory! Creepy cults, final girls, and a fast-paced plot that keeps you guessing. I read this after reading R.L. Stine’s book on writing horror for kids (which I won’t go into here), and I identified a lot of what he was saying in this story. I have purchased other Kalynn Bayron books but, shamefully, haven’t read any of them yet (I am chronically behind every book trend, always). This book makes me want to rectify that.

This post has gone on for way too long, so I’ll wrap up here. Now that I’ve redesigned my website, I hope to use it more and share more of my thoughts on books, TV, writing etc. (famous last words).

I’ve read some fantastic books this year and am reading a particularly wonderful one at the moment, so I know I have something to say in at least one more post…